Restaurant Waiters/Waitresses

 

Don’t you hate it when you go to a restaurant and the waiter/waitress comes up and either sits down next to you on the bench or maybe they squat down on the floor and then start to chat you up with “Hey guys!  What do you have going on tonight?  A little family time out?  Alright!  Cool!  So, what’s your poison tonight?”    Ugh!!!  Let me out of here!  I don’t know you!  You’re not some old friend I haven’t seen in years. 

 

How about when they ask you “Have y’all been here before?”  Um…no but I think I can figure it out.  You look at this thing called a menu then you order food from it and you bring it to me!  Yeah, I think I can figure that one out!

 

I know…I know…they work on tips but that doesn’t mean you have to pretend that we’re long lost buddies or treat me like I am six years old!  Just take my order, bring it out to the table, GIVE ME TIME TO EAT before you bring out the next course and then bring me the check.  Easy as pie!

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3 Responses to “Restaurant Waiters/Waitresses”

  1. AvaP. Says:

    The best servers in the world are ones who you don’t even know they exsist! My drink is filled, the check comes in a reasonable amount of time and they don’t ask us if we want desert! If I want it you’ll know!!! Not to be mean, but we go to dinner to be with each other, not make new friends with a twenty year old hustling tips. I only say that because I was one in my early years and I hated shleping tips…it feels soooo fake! “Would you like a blow job with that salad? If you tip me I’ll do it!”

  2. Roland Says:

    Ha!

  3. AvaP. Says:

    Great quote from Jim Gaffigan’s stand-up….. “ but we should be nicer to waiters
    It’s odd relationship we have with the waitstaff
    Occasionally the waiter will tell you their name
    We never give our name
    “Hey how you doing I’m your waiter. My name’s Phil”
    “Yeah I’ll have the chicken. Why don’t you beat it
    You never really use the name
    “I’m out of water

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