Tigerorgasm

I’m sick today so I am forced to watch whatever I can find on TV.  Without cable, there’s not much.  I did get to watch some Hockey so that was nice but when that was over I started watching The Masters.  Here is what I got out of 2 hour of watching this:  Tiger Woods is the only golfer out there.  These announcers just about crap their pants every time they talk about Tiger and, of course, they always “go back to” Tiger.  Even though, currently he is in 4th place and really has not had the best weekend.  There is a bit of coverage on Brandt Snedeker, making his first profession Masters apperance but it’s nothing compared to the orgasms that abound with Tiger.  Here are a few quotes from the commentators:

“Tiger is in a good position to win his 5th Green Jacket.”

Yeah, and so is Snedeker to win his first…PLUS, he is ahead of Tiger!

“Tiger has a good shot here to move up the rankings to capture first place.:”

Yeah, and so do several other guys!

Pathetic.  It’s similar to the Obamagasm except that Tiger Woods has actually done something and is not just running off his Charisma.  AND, he still may actually win that 5th jacket…but there are other players out there!

While I’m at it, let’s not only have a moratorium on the Tigerorgasms (has he ever come to your town for a PGA tournament?  When he comes to my city, the news media go bananas and even report when he passes gas.  Seriously) but let’s also get one on The Masters coverage.  They treat it like the 2nd coming.  CBS with their classical music and the Caddies with their bio hazard jump suits.   What a bore.  I mean, it’s a good tournament, but it would be equally as good if they would stop trying to be so aloof about it.  As I would say as a kid, they think they are hot crap on a silver platter but they are really cold diarrhea on a paper plate!

*Update:  Well, today, Sunday, Tiger is not doing so hot.  He is about in 5th place yet the commentators still are discussing exactly what Tiger needs to do to win.  Not one single mention about what anyone else has to do to win.  Also, they keep commenting on how worn out Tiger looks and that it’s probably because he is not playing that good and what an ordeal it is to have to go thru.  Oh, poor, poor pitiful Tiger.  This dove tails into something else.  You watch Tiger after ever shot today, whether good or bad and he looks so upset.  So annoyed and angry.  Contrast that with Snedeker.  He is having a blast.  Even after a shot that almost gets in the hole but doesn’t he laughs and has a big grin on his face.  He really looks like he is having fun.  Which he should because, after all, it is only a GAME!  I mean, it’s not like if Tiger loses he won’t be able to feed his family or anything.  What a turd.  I can see what these past few days are leading to on the Moratorium page….I have a vision….I see…more moratoriums on Tiger Woods and the orgasmic, bed wetting “fans” that follow him.

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