Crying at work

cry

Hey, I’m sorry, but don’t cry at work.  Or, at least don’t sit at your desk sobbing uncontrollably.  Call me callous and call me mean but the office is not the place for that kind of drama. 

Now, before you jump down my throat, do you really think I am referring to the woman (yeah, it’s 99.9% women.  The men who do are just wanna be women) who just got the phone call that her Husband was killed in a head on collision with a truck?  Or the woman who was just told she has six months to live?  Please.  I’m crass but not that much.  I’m talking about something completely different.

Just what am I referring to?  The women who can’t keep it together.  They get off the phone will a demanding client and they…they just…it’s…”He’s just so mean!” and the waterworks start flowing.  She starts to fan herself with her hands (why do they do that?) and starts to sniff and sniffle and look around to see how many people are watching the drama unfold.  Pretty soon others are coming over with the pat, pat, pat “It’s ok Ruth, I never did like that client too much…” 

PLEASE!  Take it to the ladies room!! 

How about the ones who just got dumped.  They come into work the next day, a wreck and start to wail and moan at the drop of a hat.  Or, how about the ones who get a bad review or they get talked to about something they did wrong or messed up on.  They hold it together until they get back to their desk then, as they tell you the story, they have to grab the tissues.

I’m serious here.  Take stuff like that outside or to the ladies room!  Other people don’t want to hear it!!  I’ll never forget when one chick was talking to her ex on the phone.  She started to cry and she was wheezing and sniffing and making EVERYONE around her uncomfortable.  No one wanted to meet her eyes and everyone just sort of looked the other way.  Get out of your seat, go to your car and let it out there.  Not in the office.

About 4 years ago I was filling in for my manager.  I was busy doing my work and I looked over at my co-worker “Sue” and she had her head bent down, one hand over her eyes and her chest was heaving.  She blew her nose once and I could tell she was sobbing.   I had to go get one of her co-workers and say “Hey, Beth..can you go see what’s wrong with Sue?  Why don’t you take her outside.”  First of all, do you really think me, a guy would have done much good? Secondly, with everyone so friggin’ PC these days, if I had gone over there and she had said her Lezbo girlfriend had just dumped her and then if I would have giggled or rolled my eyes it would have been “Hello HR!”. 

Anyway, Stephanie Rosenbloom of the NY times wrote a great article on this a few years ago.  I remember a friend of mine at work (yes, a woman) gave it to me.  She totally agreed and would always say, “They just need to hold it together!”.  It’s a good read.

So, how about a moratorium on women crying at work.  Say…25 years?

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