Archive for July, 2007

Tramp Stamps and other Tattoos

July 28, 2007

Tramp Stamp 

Trampstamp: Is it a prerequisite now that any woman between the ages of 18 and 25 have one of these?  Even in the work place you cannot go a day without seeing one.  They are everywhere and the chicks sure don’t have a problem making sure they are seen.  It is almost like a craze…like the whole Cabbage Patch Kid craze of the 80’s in that every chick has to have one these days.   

I know this subject is a bit touchy (no pun intended) as there are some readers to my blog who I know have one but they got theirs before “tramp stamp” was even a pop culture word.  Before there was a mad rush, blue light special on them.  Before women had them and let them be seen in a professional work place.   So, sorry if this blog of the name of that certain tattoo offends anyone out there.   

It’s not even that they are that bad but just that every chick you see now has one.   I am not that much against Tattoos (heck, my wife has one) but these things….There needs to be at least a 20 year moratorium on these.

Tattoos (no, not him) in general need a moratorium on them.  Is it some sort of rite of adulthood to get one?  They used to be just a novelty and if someone had one, it was “Wow! Really? Let me see!” but now, it’s “Yaaaaawwwwwwn….oh!  A tattoo?  Yeah, I got like 50 of ’em!”  Can we get a 20 year moratorium on tattos in general? 

BTW: Here is a very interesting one.

Media Catch Phrases

July 21, 2007

 

“Controversial”  If they don’t like what you do or say that’s what they call it.    Such as “Controversial talk show host” or “Controversial GOP candidate…”  Why is it that Conservatives are the ones who are always controversial yet Liberals are always “Underdog” or “Compassionate” or “Award winning…”?  How come Rush is controversial yet Dan Rather, who tried to take down a sitting President is “Retired News Anchor”?  You also hear things like “Failed” put in front of certain people but perky Katie doesn’t get that in front of her name even though she bombed and is still dredging the bottom of the lake with her ratings.

“Critics say” you also hear.  Just who are these so called “critics” and why don’t they ever reveal exactly what they say?

The media also throws words like disaster, tragic and shocking around far too easily.  They say things like “This shocking home video of a deer running loose in a Target is coming up next.”  No.  Shocking is a Mother killer her child or something like that. 

Anyway, once again, can we get a moratorium on the idiots that make up the media and especially the left leaning ones (that would be 90% of the media)?

“He’s just an excitable boy.”

July 16, 2007

 Zevon

How often have you heard that phrase from some Mom whose kid is running wild in the store or at church?  Maybe he is throwing his food across the room at a restaurant and the Mom or Dad just look at you, shrug and say “Well, be thankful you only have girls!”.  What a crock!!  I know PLENTY of parents who have boys who are very well behaved. 

Now, I’m not talking about little kids like 2 or 3 years old.  I mean kids who know better.  5, 7 or 8 year old terrors.  You can always tell the parents who actually discipline their kids to those who don’t.    The lazy ones always have the excuses such as “Boys will be boys” or crap like that.  They always try to blame it on the gender.  I have seen girls just as wild.

 Warren Zevon said it best, though very tongue in cheek, with his song “Excitable Boy”:

Well, he went down to dinner in his Sunday best
Excitable boy, they all said
And he rubbed the pot roast all over his chest
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he’s just an excitable boy

He took in the four a.m. show at the Clark
Excitable boy, they all said
And he bit the usherette’s leg in the dark
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he’s just an excitable boy

He took little Susie to the Junior Prom
Excitable boy, they all said
and he raped her and killed her, then he took her home
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he’s just an excitable boy
After ten long years they let him out of the Home
Excitable boy, they all said
And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he’s just an excitable boy

Let’s get a moratorium, not on wild kids, but on the parents who just sit there and shrug and do nothing.

Women in the workplace

July 13, 2007

 

Now, don’t get all worked up ladies.  This is not a moratorium that women should not be allowed in the office.  Are you crazy?   The day would be so boring if they weren’t there!   No, this is just a point I wanted to bring out that I am sure goes on in offices everywhere.  

First of all, let me throw a little caveat out there.  The women I am talking about are usually young and loud.  I’m not talking about actual professional women out there (such as my friend Marty) but the 20 something ones who never miss a chance to make sure that 1. their thong  or tramp stamp is showing or 2. they show enough clevage to make you think you are at Hooters.    You know….the ones who still say “You go girl!” or “I know! Right?”   Those are the ones I am referring to in this post.  

Anyway, the gist of the this post is this one, simple point:

Office meetings would be so much shorter if it was just men.

There.  I said it.  It’s true though.  I can’t tell you how many times we have to wait for the laughter to die down to continue with the meeting because the person speaking said something such as “I bought some new pants today”.  After a comment like that we have to hear the cat calls, the “Ooooooohhhh! Big spender!!” or the obligatory “You go boy!” and then have to endure the loud laughter and chatter.

Now, I know that some of you don’t work in an office or you work with professionals.  God bless you.  You are so very lucky.  So, can we have a moratorium on women acting like they are still in 7th grade in the workplace?  While we are at it, can you dress just a tad professional?  Business casual does not mean you wear skin tight clothes, shorts, halter tops or flip flops.  Not that I mind those sort of clothes at all.  Heck, I’m a guy.  Of course I don’t mind them…when the right person wears them.  I don’t need to see someone like Rosie O’Donnell dressed like that.  (Rosie…thong….sorry you got that mental picture in your head now).   Also, if I can’t be comfortable, why should you get away with it? 

Ok, now I know some of you ladies are going to insist that guys do these things as well (maybe not the thong part but just the meeting disrutpion…….I hope).  My only reponse is no.  No we don’t.  For one thing we can’t.  A manager can say “I bought some new pants today” and the ladies can cat call and say things like “Turn around! Let’s see the back side!” or “Uh-huh.  Those fit you nice and snug!” but if a woman manager said “Hey, look at my new top” and us guys said “Yeah, that fits you nice.” or stared at the top/breasts and said “Yeah, I like that on you” we would get hauled into HR.  Also, we don’t do stuff like that because it is just SO gay.  Plus, we want to get thru the meeting and back to our desk to get some work done or we want to actually get on with the meeting and learn something.  Sigh! How I long for the old days when we could just say “Hi Susie.  Nice rack!” and get away with it.  😉

 So, this one is simple.  Just like I said above.  A moratorium on the women in the workplace who act like 7th graders.  Now, I’m sure this post will hardly get any responses at all.

 

Excessive?

July 10, 2007

Libby 

According to President Bush, even one day in prison for Scooter Libby is “excessive” but 11 and 12 years for border agents doing their job, protecting the United States, is just fine.   How is THAT justice?  Can anyone out there defend this?

What a travesty of justice!  I am so very sorry that I ever voted for Bush and even worse, defended him time and again over the past 7 years.  I am actually very embarresed by those facts.  What we were sold in 2000 was snake oil.  The so called “Conservative” we all thought we were getting turned out to be nothing more than a RINO  (or worse, just a plain old Liberal).   I used to think that, well, at least we don’t have Gore or Kerry running things but you know…I am not really sure anymore.  All I know for sure is that two men who were trying to protect our country are now rotting in prison and have recently been beat to hell while a wealthy and affluent friend of the President walks free and probably has a book deal in the works already. 

How about a moratorium on Bush and his lack of principals.

Speed bumps

July 9, 2007

bump

Are you as sick of these as I am?  I totally understand what they are for and they do work but the way they are laid out at times simply drives me crazy!  Take a look at the picture there.  Now, speed bumps are to slow you down, right?  Can you really get up that much speed between those?  Do they really need THAT many in row like that?  As crazy as it sounds they use them like that all over the place.  Better yet, they put them right in front of a stop sign.  Ok, I have to stop anyway, what is the speed bump doing here?  Sometimes I think they put so many in just so they can spend more money.  You know, one of those situations where if you don’t use up all your budget money you won’t get as much next year. 

I don’t remember them being used as much growing up as they are now.  Anyway, I just think we need a moratorium on them being used in the wrong way or simply do away with them all together!

Excessive nodding

July 6, 2007

nodding

 I was sitting in a meeting at work the other day and came up with this moratorium.  There I was, trying to pay attention to the speaker because, you know, she is imparting important information that I can use in my job duties.  Now, the speaker was a higher up.  An important figure in the company.  Needless to say, I didn’t want to be seen falling asleep or acting uninterested.  Anyway, I was focused on what she was saying but I gotta tell ya, it was difficult to pay attention because this chick 2 rows in front of me was nodding at everything the speaker said.  Well, let me rephrase that.  She was excessively nodding.  I mean, she was like that stupid drinking bird toy but the only time she did it was when the speaker looked at her.  Other times she was off on Planet X for all I know yet whenever the speaker would walk or look our way there she was with her happy, brown nosed head nodding away as if saying “Yes, Ma’am!  I know just what you’re talking about.  You can count on me!  I agree with you!  You are so right, I mean, you are always right.  About everything.  You rule.  I wish I was you!  Look at me, I am the only person who knows what you are saying and even if you told me you kill dead puppies I would still happily agree with you!”  Ugh! Makes ya sick, I know. 

GET A LIFE!!!!  It’s one thing to pay attention.  It’s also one thing to feign paying attention but it is quite another to brown nose until your head hurts from bobbing up and down as if you’re Monica Lewinsky.  Don’t be a Zombie.  If you agree with something, sure, it’s ok to nod…once.  You don’t need to run a nodding marathon though!  Jeeeze!

I know this happens in school as well.  Nothing like making sure that Political Science professor sees you nod excessively when she says something like “Bush lied, kids died” or some other political cliche. 

So, can we get a moratorium on in your face brown nosing?  I mean, if you are going to suck up, at least do it in private…………. like Monica did. 

 

The 4th of July

July 4, 2007

Sometimes it’s so simple we miss it.  That’s what I love about School House Rock…it hits the main points and breaks it down very simply.  Thankfully it came out before too much of the Liberal, political correct, revisionist crap got to it. 

Here are some of my favorite lines as we celebrate our independence.  Hope y’all have a great 4th! 

 King

 They wanted no more Mother England.
They knew the time had come
For them to take command.
It’s very clear you’re being unfair, King,
No matter what you say, we won’t obey.
Gonna hold a revolution now, King,
And we’re gonna run it all our way
With no more kings…

fireworks

 In 1776 there were fireworks too
The original colonists, you know their tempers blew
Like Thomas Paine once wrote:It’s only common sense
That if a government won’t give you your basic rightsYou’d better get another government.
And though some people tried to fight it,
Well, a committee was formed to write it:
Benjamin Franklin, Philip Livingston,
John Adams, Roger Sherman, Thomas Jefferson,
They got it done (Oh yes they did!)
The Declaration of Independence
In seventeen hundred seventy six
The Continental Congress said that we were free (We’re free!)
Said we had the right of life and liberty
,…And the pursuit of happiness!

Washington

And though they lost some battles too,
The Americans swore they’d see it through,
Their raiding parties kept up, hit and run.
At Yorktown the British could not retreat,
Bottled up by Washington and the French Fleet,
Cornwallis surrendered and finally we had won!

From the shot heard ’round the world
To the end of the Revolution
The continental rabble took the day
And the father of our country
Beat the British there at Yorktown
And brought freedom to you and me and the U.S.A.!

God bless America, Let Freedom Ring!

Preamble

 And they put those principles down on paper and called it the Constitution, and it’s been helping us run our country ever since then. The first part of the Constitution is called the preamble and tells what those founding fathers set out to do.

We the people,
In order to form a more perfect union,
Establish justice, insure domestic tranquility,
Provide for the common defense,
Promote the general welfare and
Secure the blessings of liberty
To ourselves and our posterity
Do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

SHR

Workout clothes

July 1, 2007

VB

Can you wear any less?  You know, I am all for hot chicks who   don’t wear much….but even I have to draw the line at some of   the workout attire I see on the streets.  When I was in Middle  and High School back in the early 80’s, girls would wear long, baggy sweat pants and an old t-shirt.  Have you seen what they wear these days?  Have you seen the Mom’s speed walking and what they wear? 

Running

 It’s not just the chicks either. You see these dudes with practically speedos on and nothing else.  You know,  I don’t need to see some 45 yr  old, balding,  sweaty man like   that jogging down the street nor do I need to see a 45 yr old Mom with only a sports bra and teeny tiny shorts (unless she is really hot..and I don’t know her.  How embarrassing is it to be checking out some woman only to get closer and see she is one of your neighbors or worse, some High School chick). 

Seriously though, I thought of this moratorium driving home from work.  I stopped at a light and at one corner were some cross country runners from a local high school.  I would usually see runners on this corner from time to time on my way home from work.  Today it was 4 girls.  What they had on shocked even me.  They all hardly had anything on but two had on the shortest shorts you could imagine and t-shirts.  Two others had on those short shorts (the kind you see the women of beach volleyball wear) and just a small sports bra.  Nothing else.    Their parents let them wear that stuff?  I just could not beleive what they had on (or not on). 

You know, it’s just not fair.  How come they didn’t wear stuff like that when I was in school?  I can only hope that by the time my girls are in High School the new fad will be another throwback to the 70’s and they will want to wear baggy sweat pants and old, big t-shirts!!!

Here is something else I will throw in here.  Have you ever heard of people NOT wearing underwear when they work out?  My wife overheard the instructor in one of her classes at the gym telling someone how she doesn’t wear underwear when she exercises.  Is that just another fad or really strange?

Let’s get a moratorium on people who don’t wear enough when they work out.