Archive for January, 2007

Rachael Ray

January 31, 2007

R Ray

She is EVERYWHERE!!!!  Ugh!!  When she had a show (or two) on the Travel Channel, that was fine and cute and interesting but now….you cannot go anywhere without seeing her face and hearing her stupid sayings (“Oh my Gravy!”).  I walked into a Wal-Mart the other day looking for a magazine and there she was…on the cover of multiple mags including her own.  I turn around and there is a Rachel Ray DVD.  I put my head down and walked very quickly over to the grocery section.  Maybe some snacks will get my mind off her.  I turn the corner and there she is on multiple Nabisco boxes!!!    I then drove home and decided to veg and really get my mind off her with some TV….and she is all over that as well!!  Just about every channel either had a commerical for her show or a commercial she was in or a talk show she was on!!!  Did you know that even the Oxford American College Dictionary is thinking off adding her term EVOO (extra virgin olive oil)? 

It’s not that I minded her in the beginning…but when the media OD’s on someone or something it gets bad. 

Did you know she was named #92 on FHM-US’s 100 sexiest women 2004?  She was 71 in 2006.  She should not even be on that list much less moving up!!!!  Just because someone is splattered all over the media marketplace does not make them sexy.  If that was the case, Hillary Clinton would be number one (gave ya shivers, right?).  Also, someone who uses words and phrases such as

“Yum-O”
“Insanely good!”
“Spoonula”
“Juzsh” (just stir)

does NOT deserve a ranking of “sexiest”.

20 years.  Yep.  20 yer moratorium on anything Rachel Ray.  Either that or limit her to one appearance a week on any media outlet. 

Bicyclists

January 29, 2007

Bike 

This will probably make a few folks upset if they Bike however I am sure many other posts on here make people mad so, what the heck!

 My problem is not people who ride bikes.  Not at all.  It’s with people who ride bikes and do the following:

  • They don’t obey the laws of the road.  I can’t tell you how often I have seen them blow thru stop signs or slow down then go thru red lights.  If they want us to share the road, then obey the same laws we do.
  • They ride in these huge packs of 20 or 30 others.  They don’t ride single file either but just in a huge long clump.  On a two lane road they end up backing traffic up for miles.
  • They ride single file but in the middle of the lane and, again, on a two lane highway they back up traffic for miles.
  • When they do stop for a light, they don’t stop behind the last car but they edge their way up to the front of the line.

Listen, I used to bike as well.  Don’t see anything wrong with it.   I did however always stay to the side of the road, stopped for red lights and didn’t try to own the road. 

I would love to see states begin to license bikes.  If they are given the full rights of the road, then make them pay for a license as car owners do.  Also, that way, it would be much easier to report the idiots out there.

Anyway, I vote for a moratorium of 3 years for bikes on main roads.  They must stick to neighborhoods or roads with bike trails.  That will be enough time for more states to adopt better bike laws.

Movie Remakes

January 26, 2007

Longest Yard 

Why is it that Hollywood has no new ideas these days?  Seems like every other movie that comes out it a remake.  Oh sure, they may call it by a different name and maybe some small changes have been made but the bottom line is that it is a REMAKE!!  Here is just a sample of movies in the past 1o years that have been remakes.  Some of these are planned to be released later this year:

Invasion of the body snatchers, Omega Man, The Longest Yard, The Pink Panther, Poseidon, The Shaggy Dog, The Italian Job, The Ladykillers, Texas Chainsaw, The Omen, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Hitcher, Psycho, When a Stranger Calls, The Thomas Crown Affair, Ocean’s 11, Planet of the Apes, The Manchurian Candidate, Alfie, Sabrina, Mr. Deeds, Bad News Bears, The Birdcage, Cheaper by the dozen, Guess Who’s coming to dinner, King Kong, Meet Joe Black, Gone in 60 seconds, Fun with Dick and Jane, Flight of the Pheonix, Father of the bride, Heaven can wait, Nutty Professor, Preachers Wife, Revenge of the Nerds, The Dirty Dozen, Shaft, Westworld, Walking Tall.

Remember, that is just the last 10 years.  The list would be twice as long if I included movies from 1986 to 1996.    What’s worse is when the original is so good.  Take “The Longest Yard” for example.  What an awesome movie.  Why in the world did they have to remake that?  I can almost understand them taking some lame movie and updating it and actually making it look better… but even then….how about some originality for once!

How sad.  Walk into any bookstore and you could spend a life time going thru all the DIFFERENT stories.  Why are they not adapting more books into movies?  I’ll tell you why.  LAZY.  Why should I go thru the hassel when I can just take some funny 70’s movie and just throw some big stars in it and be done with it?

Another thing, I am sick and tired of old TV shows being turned into movies.  Hey! Get a clue!  Be original!!! 

Ok, here is what we need.  20 years.  20 years is not that long.  20 year moratorium on any remakes.  From 2008 and on each new movie must be original and NOT a remake. 

Frivolous, Ridiculous and Stupid Lawsuits

January 25, 2007

I think everyone can agree this ranks up there as something that must be stopped.  Suing people and companies is quite old but recently, within the past 20 years, it has simply gotten out of control.  I found a great site that lists many of these stupid ones.

A few examples:

  • Due to 28 seconds of turbulence on an American Airlines flight in 1995, some passengers are $2 million richer.
  • A store worker in WV got 2.2 million after she injured her back opening a jar of pickles.
  • Bill Wyman, formerly of the Rolling Stones sued a man who for using his name.  Problems is, this guy was BORN Bill Wyman.  The Bill Wyman who was a Rolling Stone was born with the name William George Perks and just adopted the stage name of Wyman.
  • A man was  found naked and dead on the back of a Killer Whale at SeaWorld.  Guess he snuck past security.  Anyway, his parents are suing saying that the Whale was portrayed as a lovable stuffed toy and not the killer it is.
  • McDonalds…hot coffee…’nuff said

Ok…I think we all can agree we need a permanent moratorium on these sort of suits…either that or get some Judges in office who were actually born with a brain and know when to throw this sort of junk out.

Rolling Stones

January 23, 2007

Mick

Yes.  They are old.  We know that.  They have been rocking for 45 years strong and show no signs of stopping.  Each tour they continue to show they truly are the Greatest Rock and Roll Band in the WORLD.  Did I point out they are old and we know that?  Since we all know that, let’s have a nice 45 year moratorium on old jokes.  They are, pardon the pun, getting old.  Especially from people who are of similar age themselves. You know, I thought they were funny as well….but they are OLD.  If I kept telling you the same joke every year, would it get better? 

I could understand if they couldn’t perform anymore or sounded horrible or looked…well…they don’t really look that good anymore, I will admit that but they do still look cool.  Anyway, if they could no longer perform, fine, I would welcome more jokes but they can still rock better then many of the young punks out there. 

Hillary Clinton

January 23, 2007

Need I go on?  Not only do we need a 30 year moratorium on her but we need a retroactive one as well.  I shudder to think of her as President.  

Game Shows

January 20, 2007

It all started about 7 years ago with “Who wants to be a Millionare” with Regis and now it has become like a contagious plague that is infecting every station.  What’s worse is you have these washed up comedians hosting them!  Howie, Penn, Bob…you guys have gotta go!!  What’s worse is that the whole show concept is just plain stupid!   Do people really want to watch contestants stand with germaphobe Howie and pick a box?  Give me the Price is right or Jeopardy any day!

I vote for a 10 year moratorium on any new game shows AND when they do come back they must be hosted by an unknown and not some comic who never was funny in the first place.  Sorry, putting a condom on your head and blowing it up was never funny Howie.

Overused Words and Phrases

January 18, 2007

Words

Here is a great site.  Seems that Lake Superior State University has been putting out a list since the mid 70’s.  I remember hearing about this every year, just didn’t know who to attribute it to.   Some good ones:

  • COMBINED CELEBRITY NAMES
  • UNDOCUMENTED ALIEN
  • GONE/WENT MISSING
  • ASK YOUR DOCTOR
  • CHIPOTLE

Here are a few more that they could add to the list:

  • Basically
  • Apparently
  • To sum it all up
  • Obama
  • Like (as in “I was like” or “He was like”)
  • Um
  • Oh no he didn’t!
  • It is with mixed emotions that I announce…
  • At the end of the day…

These are just a few that we need a moratorium on for at least 5 years.  I’m sure some of you can come up with more.

Motivational Books

January 17, 2007

Understanding Self-Motivation

Every year it seems someone comes out with the new must read motivation book that every CEO or Manager requires his staff to read.  Now, how many of those books actually say anything new?   Having read several over the past few years I can tell you that they usually have very little new ideas.  They are all just repackaged junk you have heard a million times if you are in business.  Can we name some?

  • To grow and be productive, you must be able to change
  • We are all leaders in our own way
  • Be proactive not reactive
  • Understand your employees
  • Burn the bridges
  • Yada, Yada, Yada

It is like there is one big book out there from 1980 and everyone is just going back and rewording everything.    What is worse is that some of these authors make a living writing multiple books.   Look, if your first book was so great, why do I need to be motivated again? Can’t I just reread your first one?

 Don’t get me wrong.  There are some GREAT motivational books out there for the business world that are very helpful.  It’s just that…do we need any more???

There should be at least a 10 year Moratorium on any new motivational/sales book.

Wacky Weathermen

January 17, 2007

Sonny Elliiot

How long has this been a problem?  I remember the Weathermen from back in the 70’s when I was growing up who thought they were standup comics.  Please! Just give the forcast.  We don’t need any jokes, songs or pathetic banter from you.  Don’t get me wrong.  There are some good ones out there.  They give the weather and that is it. 

Before I forget though, when did the Weathermen become so important?  I swear, these days they break in for anything…ANYTHING!  “Wind gusts of 20mph?  Let’s break in to the season ending show!!”  Then, when they do break in, they don’t just alert you, they stay on for 5 – 10 minutes!  After getting complaints they always come out the next day and tell the public how important it was that they broke in and they are only doing it to save lives!  Well, if that is the case, why don’t you ever see them break in to commercials then?  When I was a kid the best we would get would be a 30 second flash DURING commercials then maybe the scroll at the bottom of the screen.  Now, we get a break in during the show then, not just a scroll at the bottom.  We get a scroll, a radar on the side and a Doppler Weather logo at the top.  You usually can’t even see what is going on due to all that.

We need a 20 year moratorium on this.  Give us 20 years with no zanny forecasts and no earth shatterting snow storm interruptions and the world will be a better place!